I graduated last week.
That’s such a weird thing to say/type. Who knew that four years down the line little ol’ me would be graduating with a first class honours in English and Film & Media.
At the start of uni I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, four years to figure it all out seemed reasonable. Now that I’m actually here I’m clinging on to the unknown by doing a masters degree. Some wonder why not get a job already instead of having even MORE debt. Some think I’ll go on to do a doctorate. But really I just want to get a little bit more clarity about the adult world before I dive in head first.
When I started my degree I said I’d be happy with anything, I didn’t mind what class I got. Then, as I got closer and closer to reaching a first, I didn’t want anything else. I knew I could completely flunk my dissertation and still get a 2:1, a grade I didn’t dare dream of in first year. I knew it wouldn’t be enough. I wouldn’t be satisfied with myself.
I was about to write that I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging. But you know what? I am. I’m so proud of myself for what I’ve done. I didn’t quite believe it until I walked across that stage and received my degree certificate. I can’t remember the last time I felt like that about something that’s solely mine. Even being accepted into one of the top universities for my masters didn’t have the same euphoria because it still had conditions. Getting the money, finding somewhere to live, getting the grades.
My graduation day is something that can never be taken away. No strings attached, no ifs or buts, I worked hard for that first and now I have it for the rest of my life.
I didn’t realise how good it would actually feel. And knowing that I will be going on to study publishing at UCL (because I’m more determined than ever) makes me feel pretty content with life at the moment.
There are always things that could be improved upon. The dream right now would be to have an internship or work experience at a publishers to help me climb that very shaky career ladder. But it’s just not feasible, and that’s okay.
For now it can wait.
For now I’m going to enjoy my summer. I’m going to read every book I can get my hands on (I forgot how good reading for pleasure is, curse you English degree!). I’m going to blog and write. I’m going to pat myself on the back.
I don’t sing my praises very often but this time I am. For now: I graduated from university and I’m so bloody proud.